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Feb 5, 2010 muse
I’m not used to being inside as much as of late. It’s not unusual for us to wear shorts this time of year in Charlotte, not so much this year. So there’s lots more piddling and reading and planning going on, not a bad thing. Instead of taking on more “stuff” to do, I’m actually weeding out what isn’t absolutely necessary, even taking a break from one of my favorite songwriting communities. One area that’s been slack for sometime now is keeping up with a journal. I picked up a copy of Creative Journal Writing by Stephanie Dowrick, which I’m quite enjoying. And I’m taking on a new slant to make myself write more frequently with posterous, and a notebook on my night stand to jot out thoughts before sleep.
Spring will be here soon, we’ll be back outside. Stay warm — enjoy
Winter/Tori Amos!
Posted via email from angelo melendez’s posterous
Feb 4, 2010 sojourn
Today I spent time kicking gravel on a trail just south of Grandfather Mountain. Instead of following the cut path toward the sound of running water, I try to stay in the sun as much as possible (it is winter) until reaching the stream at the bottom of the foothill. About to dip my hand in expectantly frigid water, I hear the meeting facilitator say, “OK, break, let’s be back in 15 minutes.”
I [think I] was only day dreaming for a few minutes, but it made for a great afternoon.
Jan 31, 2010 faith
One down, 119 to go… seems almost unimaginable that we’re done with the first month of the new decade.
It feels like I need more computing power in my head just to keep up with all I want to do and know. I’m feeling scattered, smothered and covered (not unlike Waffle House hash browns, yum!), I want answers, resolution, progress and joy. I’m reading books on who I am and how to yank it out of me, and just finished “Have a Little Faith” by Mitch Albom. I’m deep diving some thought provoking blogs, and delving into new territories of research at work. No new [finished] songs yet for the year, but there’s lots cooking.
To say I’m living in a whirlwind is an understatement, not just my own life, but the world seems one imbalance away from us having to navigate our existence as never before. From the disaster in Haiti to the often unheeded warning signs about to cause unprecedented fiscal and moral catastrophe within our once beloved borders, our once respected America. It’s almost like “we the people” have been hypnotized or we’re hibernating, will we awaken, snap out of it?
The political blame games, the Fed, the lack of reverence for human life, the expulsion of God from society, the ACLU, ACORN, the demise of capitalism, on and on… yet, special interest agendas and rights for individuals (not the people) constantly appear to be trumping common sense and civility. I cringe when I hear the folks crying out for unity and harmony, then see our “leadership” Mirandizing terrorists who want to inflict carnage on our own soil, what? To those who complain about having to take their shoes off at airport security because they see the shoe bomber’s attempt as a one-off mistake, are you for real?
Many ask, why can’t we all just get along? I guess I’d answer with another question: who is the “we”?
In my circle of friends, at home, at work, for the most part, we all get along. But there are certain neighborhoods near the very house in which I live, not so much. Forget about taking a late night stroll through once prospering neighborhoods in high profile cities like Atlanta, LA or Dallas, not wise, not safe. No need to go into what other countries do to people who inadvertently cross a border or disagree with a fundamental nationally imposed belief.
Conflict breeds innovation and war: yin and yang. The heart of man is a vile, corrupt. We tolerate and accept ideas and doctrines either because we’re forced to or because we’re too lazy to confront, perhaps driven by apathy. Some write endlessly about how one president or another is goat or hero, while the Fed, an unregulated entity, continues printing treasury bills, egregiously adding to the debt our children’s grandchildren will be accountable to cover in decades to come (FYI: the national debt is a a stack of $1000 bills that’s eight (8) miles high).
The shell game goes on, the media tells us what they want us to hear, the suspicious dig for truth. There is a body of folks that just wants to live equitably and nobly being worn down by big government, and social agendas that don’t even begin to solve real problems. Like the campaign promise rehash we got this week (aka State of the Union), and the finger wagging, see things my way or else, it’s a broken record — one that’s played over and over, the needle is dull and the static growing louder.
It’s January 31, 2010, only one month into the new decade, so much has transpired. In the news, in my own head, in my very life. Funneling it all into manageable chunks I can process and filter to keep my being moving forward without being overwhelmed is not easy, not at all. I can chose to put my hope in man-centered efforts and ideologies or have faith in the unseen.
I choose the latter. Not to impose, not to shut out those who don’t believe or agree, but hopefully to be a better me, as part of a better place, for the sake of better times.
Jan 18, 2010 ramblings
I was walking by a cube and noticed a sign stating “Failure is not an option.” At first I thought, wow, that’s dedication and determination. Later, however, I wondered, what does this person do? What do they create? Heck, if all I set out to do must succeed, I’m doomed! And how will I learn? What can I explore, how many chances to mold the clay do I get, can’t I ball it up and try again if the pot I spin really sucks?
I’d never write another song, or play another gig, shoot a photo, attempt to teach my kids, or try to be taught… I mean, really, failure is not an option? Obviously, the context here is not about being a screw up, but in the realm of creativity and how we do what we do for a living. If I don’t try I can’t fail… if I don’t stretch myself to be better at things I don’t know or yet do well, I won’t fail. Neither will I be fulfilled as an artist or just being.
So, at least for me, failure is an option.
“I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.” — Thomas Edison
Jan 10, 2010 ramblings
Not sure why it’s taken me this far into the New Year to post (FWIW), until I got to thinking about it… there’s lots going on!
On top of winding down from the holiday season, which has only been a week now, I’m transitioning out of a training/education centric approach to writing and performing to generating product and getting it [and me] out there. This means some real discipline at home in the studio, because I don’t have the funds for studio time. It also means figuring out how to build a fan base, both live and virtually, as well as getting back into networking with our local creative community.
If I didn’t have a 50hr. a week day job, no problem. But I do, and I can’t let it be a problem. I also need to be sure I don’t get frustrated when the game plan isn’t producing as fruitfully as I’d hoped, or I need to deviate to hit a target. The key is to keep moving forward and adapt with whatever is happening. So, if my home recordings don’t get produced as well as I think they ought, I still need to get product out the door, or there’s nothing to share. If I don’t go and sit and wait 2-hrs to play 2-songs at an open mic, I won’t get to meet other writers to write with or maybe play in the round with. Sure, I can’t be out every night, so I need to plan when I’m going to attend a week night show where friends are playing and work from home the next day so I can sneak an extra 30 minutes of sleep the next morning.
There’s an element of adventure I’m really looking forward to, also. Maybe I’ll take 6-months of guitar lessons, or do an EP of just instrumental stuff, or finally make that trek down to Central Ave. and get that tattoo. Not sure how our search for a new church home will come in to play, but I also feel like it’s time to get back involved with music ministry. Making this transition won’t be easy, and I need to be patient, but I’ve done it before. I used to have one of those 5-gallon water jugs from a dispenser for spare change in an apartment years ago. I was always amazed when I’d tally up a half-full jug. Long as I keep dumping effort into my songs and music like spare change into that jug, I should have plenty to show for it quarter by quarter in 2010.
Dec 31, 2009 ramblings
Someone asked me today about my New Year resolutions. Truth is, I don’t make any. I’ve undergone lots of changes in life since 2000, surely made lots of mistakes, too. But one significant thing I learned is to try and keep things realistic and simple. Which, at least for me, means cleaning out the emotional, spiritual and physical closets of the clutter and baggage that inhibit a real and simple means of living, including setting goals and how to achieve them.
Resolutions have never worked for me because they seem rather “shot in the dark” to me. Sure, I need to keep working out and eating better, but that’s more a lifestyle paradigm than a resolution, IMO. Point to this very brief farewell to 2009 is just that; the 2000-2009 decade has come and gone. No need to agonize or lament, instead build on the accomplishments and lessons learned.
To all my friends and family, all the best for a happy and healthy 2010.
Later… 2009
Dec 22, 2009 muse, sojourn
Plans for today were altered late yesterday afternoon. I’m learning to step back and respond vs. react. Yes, I’m disappointed in the fact my plans changed because of mis-communication on the part of someone else. Hey, stuff happens, and for today, I’m very grateful it does.
Just before heading out, I was catching up on email and read a great message from Skip Ewing. Then I watched and listened to “Juliana’s Smile,” totally moved by the compassion of message and the stunning composition by Skip. Sure hope you take time to do so as well.
After a bit of shopping, I came back home for lunch and finished rearranging the A/V components in the living room, a work in progress over the couple of days. To test the sound I popped a CD in, one I’ve not listened to in years. I was also in the process of zapping a cup of coffee with the intent of turning the system off and spending a little time in my home studio, if nothing else, to at least mess around with some rhythm tracks and learn more about Logic. But I got caught up in the beauty of Yo Yo Ma’s exquisite performance with the New York Philharmonic. Could it be this is why my plans changed? The house is quiet, I’ve got a mug of hot coffee in hand and Lord knows I could use some quality quiet time.
The journey through two concertos, one by Antonin Dvorak the other Victor Herbert, was exhilarating, yet relaxing. And, as I read the liner notes on the backstory of the relationship between these composers, and how/when these compositions came to be, I was reminded of how fleeting this type of dedication is in today’s world of music composition.
Once the concertos were over, I end up in my studio, thinking about the tie between Skip’s work and that of two master composers. Though Skip’s piece and video are just over 4 minutes, there is nothing less moving about his work. I needed to spend time today as I did, to be reminded of my own need to dig deeper and be more purposeful with the art I create, and to enjoy the art of the masters much more often.
Dec 18, 2009 faith, what if?
Today was the first day of my Christmas vacation (yay!). I got a bunch of stuff done, mostly because I planned to do so. Around Thanksgiving I promised myself I’d balance relaxing this holiday season with being productive, both practically and creatively.
It’s late in the afternoon, just before supper, I’m heating up a little left over coffee and for some reason got to thinking about my needs in life and realize, I don’t have any true needs. I get 3-squares a day, am blessed with a warm comfy house, made home by my family who I’m able to provide for by virtue of employment I’ve so fortunately retained during the see-saw year we all just went through.
But there are those with needs. Real needs for basics and necessities. On my a list of things to do while off work the next couple of weeks is to find quiet ways to bring even a little joy or relief into the lives of those I may or may not know or ever meet. So this morning I loaded up a bunch of things we had stored up to sell on Craigslist and dropped it all off to a lady who works in the food court in our building. I’m not sure if angels or true saints exist, but if they do, I’m sure she’s one of them. We’re talking about a person who prays for folks with needs to cross her path so she can find a way to help them.
Now, this wasn’t the first time we’ve shared of ourselves to provide for her ministry, but for some reason it felt sweeter today. It’s not about the content of the bags and boxes we filled, or the dollar amounts applied to each gift card we gave her, but the purpose that might be fulfilled (a hearty thanks to three long time co-workers for chipping in on very short notice to provide additional gifts). I’m so glad we were able to half fill the bed of a Silverado to bring a little hope to folks in need. Could it be the opportunity felt so meaningful today because it’s Christmas time? Could be because it’s actually what I need most in my life.
Dec 5, 2009 sojourn
Christmas means rearranging spaces in our house so we can setup the tree and decorations and make room for presents. Which in turn means having to make room for the ‘stuff’ that has to be cleared out so we actually have room for the aforementioned decorations and presents. Good thing is during this process we also get to throw out a lot of things we no longer use or need. You know, things like rabbit ear antennas, manuals for long-gone VCRs and today we cleared out a big drawer full of old video and cassette tapes obviously no longer in use and should be trashed.
So glad I looked through the bag BEFORE it went to the trash bin in the garage because I found a couple of cassettes I would have been WAY sad to lose. One tape took me back to a blustery winter day in Newport, RI, and a bunch of Navy musicians tracking a live demo of a few charts for a sax player/vocalist who was to audition for the Jazz Commodores in DC. The other, a spring jazz band concert on which I had the privilege of playing bass with the Edison Community (now State) College jazz ensemble backing Clark Terry.
What’s important to me is that I can now do more than just think back to these two distinct seasons in my life, instead I can hear what was happening and be very proud of what I was accomplishing. Not that the musicianship was necessarily anything to write home about (except for Clark’s and a couple of the outstanding Navy players I was holed up with at that time), but that I was venturing beyond my roots of rock and roll, funk and pop. Actually, the college gig was my last at school about three weeks before I actually joined the Navy.
Guess I should look at these two cassettes as early Christmas presents. They won’t go under the tree, but they are now in the cabinet with some of the other tapes from days gone by… hmm, maybe I should ask for one of the converter ‘thing-ies’ for Christmas so I can pop this stuff to CD/DVD. What do you think?
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